Fat White Vampire Blues
- ISBN-10
- 0345464443
- ISBN-13
- 9780345464446
- Category
- Fiction
- Pages
- 348
- Language
- English
- Published
- 2003-07-01
- Publisher
- Ballantine Books
- Author
- Andrew Fox
Description
He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.
Get the book
Similar books
-
Earthly Pleasures: A Novel
By Karen NechesRyan's photograph had been replaced with Justin Timberlake's. "Get in Synch with Justin on Earthly Pleasures," read the caption. “What are you gaping at?
-
Serial Killer in Paris
By Thomas Donahue, Karen DonahueJust like I know Justin Timberlake. I met him once. But I don't know him.” He nodded. “He's in the business. Geez, you people. So now the police are going ...
-
Balancing Act
By Jonathan Plummer, Karen HunterThere was one sexy Maxwell hit after the next, a few Lionel Richie classics, some— thing by India.Arie and Justin Timberlake, and, of course, John Legend.
-
Truly, Madly, Deeply: A Novel
By Karen KingsburyA few years ago the department hosted a lip-sync challenge to a Justin Timberlake song, and nearly a hundred community members took part in the video.
-
Dads in Progress Collection: An Anthology
By Karen Rose Smith... Timberlake's cat and how she climbs up the curtains,” Corrie offered. Kyle looked entranced by that idea. Sam had just reached the doorway when Kyle ...
-
The Daddy Plan
By Karen Rose Smith“I'll tell him all about Mrs. Timberlake's cat and how she climbs up the curtains,” Corrie offered. Kyle looked entranced by that idea.
-
Two Become One
By Karen MasonBefore Farrah could even agree, Justin Timberlake was blaring at her down the phone. Farrah wasn't sure if she liked the thought of strange organisations ...
-
The Casual Vacancy
By J. K. RowlingWho will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity and unexpected revelations? A big novel about a small town, The Casual Vacancy is J.K. Rowling's first novel for adults. It is the work of a storyteller like no other.
-
L'amore che non c'è
By Karen LojeloLa magia vera c'era stata. ... Se conoscete la canzone Timbaland, Nelly Furtado ft Justine Timberlake capirete la natura del ballo e che il seguito furono ...
-
Un dangereux pari - Un si séduisant célibataire
By Karen Booth, Katherine GarberaSoudain la musique changea, passant sur Can't Stop the Feeling ! de Justin Timberlake. ... C'est la chanson du film Les Trolls, crut-elle bon de préciser.