Sir Tristan Is Just Awful
- ISBN-10
- 1502597012
- ISBN-13
- 9781502597014
- Pages
- 290
- Language
- English
- Published
- 2014-10-07
- Author
- Jeffrey Wikstrom
Description
DID YOU KNOW: Tristan took a break from his tragic love story with Isolde (the hottest lady in Cornwall) to enjoy an affair with the second-hottest lady in Cornwall? During a period of exile from Cornwall, Tristan became king of Brittany and married the princess there, whose name was also Isolde? Tristan wandered away from Brittany and his wife and never returned, or even mentioned them ever again? King Mark's savage betrayal and murder of Tristan and Isolde ended up on the cutting room floor? If you did know all those things, clearly you've read Le Morte d'Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory, and I pity you. No one should have to slog through that pile of continuity errors and insipid descriptions of jousts. I've spent years of my life poring over all twenty-one Books of this foundational work of fantasy literature, dreadful as it is. Here, for your amusement and edification, I recount, dissect, and ruthlessly mock each ridiculous plot contrivance, each self-contradictory anecdote, and each unnamed damsel who runs in from offscreen and dies. Arthur Dies at the End volume 3: Sir Tristan is Just Awful covers Books VIII through X of Le Morte d'Arthur. Here you'll find the almost-complete saga of Tristan and Isolde, such as it is: all of Tristan's random murders, heartless abandonments, and pointless dick moves. Thrill as Tristan rampages his petulant way across Arthur's realm, picking fights and insulting his friends! ARTHUR DIES AT THE END: I read Le Morte d'Arthur so you don't have to!
